I am a numerologist. It has taken me seven years to say that without guilt or shame.
Having a traditional Chinese businessman father does not elicit abundant joy at the sound of those words. But to me, being a numerologist is me being true to myself. Every journey that has meaning starts with pain, rejection and fear. It is only when I keep walking that I come to a place of self acceptance, compassion and truth. This is where I am. Any step I take from here is to be aligned with that truth. Any course I do, any learning I receive, any choice I make is to actualize that conviction.
Since thirteen years of age my fascination of all things metaphysical and esoteric has simmered and boiled at varying temperatures of interest. It has grown to include numerology, palmistry, fengshui, face reading, tarot cards, astrology, dream interpretation, energy work and self development. During this time I have met old teachers and masters who have taken me as student to their field of discipline of which I am very grateful and fortunate. I learned that I have an affinity with this field that runs deep and vibrant. It is an immense feeling of excitement and intuition. A feeling that is pervasive in my professional sessions with my clients. A part time passion I have been doing for the last seven years. A part time passion turned into a full time purpose.
I have run garment factories, set up businesses, managed companies and chased material dreams and professional ideals that were not mine. I have twisted myself inside out, shattered and crumbled in a fierce attempt at happiness on some else’s terms. This is not who I am. This is not my truth. My fulfillment lies in self knowledge and helping people find that. Through my numbers sessions with my clients I am able to witness that, to bring to surface the gleam of recognition, the caress of remembering excitement and instinct. The knowledge that wisdom is within and seeing their wonderment at being able to play with that. It is such a joy to be part of this. I feel a huge connection to a deeper truth that every single person deserves to feel.
In walking this path, I want to go deeper, much much deeper, to depths and crevices hidden under sedimentary layers of the subconscious. Unearth what is rubble, stone and dirt. Dig deeper to find what is precious. I want what I learned from numerology to add dimension and depth to what I already have. I want the lessons to expand my visceral landscape and allow me tools to build, shape and form the raw materials in hand. Numerology is ancient wisdom, necessary in providing the foundation knowledge in working with structure and process. The patterns of life. It is an integral grounding in the subjects that complement what I do. How high you can fly depends on how deep your roots are. I intend to stand firmly and plant very deep roots.
Through out I feel that what ever I can gain from this life is only what I put into it. Wonderment, self knowledge and a living truth that resonates. If I can share, inspire and live this then I would have gained what I needed.